Its Monday and I got “That’ question.

Well its another Monday  and the weather outside matches the dread in the office. Regardless my life has been great and has lately only been improving  . My raise + Obama’s awesome Fed tax deduction became an instant $100 extra in my paycheck.  Needless to say this balances out with my brand new car insurance @ $200/month.  I am not complaining though as things seem to get increasingly worse as far as the economy is concerned.

For example me and Blue Eyes (the boyfriend) went to see X-Men’s Wolverine yesterday. Fun movie btw although its coming from a completely biased person. X-men is my all time favorite comic book series. Anyway we went to an 8:30 showing and to my shock I was amazed on how dead the theatre was. No really I mean the weekend was horrible nothing but rain so what else could people possibly be doing. Then it hit me.. between 2 movie tickets 1 popcorn and 2 medium sized drinks we had spent close to $40.00.  Its a shame when people work so hard and they cant even enjoy a movie. Instead you’re using that $40.00 as a minimum payment to keep creditors at bay.

Moving from talk of the all mighty dollar as it gets tiring very fast, Blue eyes finally asked me ‘the question’  on Saturday. No no nothing of the marriage kind but something in my opinion just a serious. He mentioned that at the end of August his uncle would have a vacant apartment available for rent. I stood quiet. I knew what was coming next.

” Would you wanna come with me?” he asked ever so quietly.

Now considering a form of flattery @ 1 am  iwent ahead and nodded my head quickly burrying my face into his chest. Do I want to make that comittment? I have some time to sort it out. I’m very much in love with him, as he is a contributing factor in my recent  happiness I just don’t know If I can give up my solidarity or then begin to feel pressured to do the other thing..you know:

I mean I’m still 24 I shouldn’t feel pressured for anything other than living your life how you see fit. I’d like to know though. How do you go from being commended for not getting married early or having kids to “Is that chick ever going to get married?” I even have my parents telling me that I’d probably want to be married before I move in with anyone. Yuck. I just don’t want to feel confined. As much as I love people..especially the boyfriend, I enjoy my solidarity maybe a little more at the time.

I need to figure it out.

The rain has come and does not stop.

I walked into the office today expecting to get the usual ‘ugh its Monday’ vibe. Instead I feel like I’ve entered a funeral parlor. Everyone is in a somber mood; the economic crisis has hit home.
It all started in whispers and gossip , about hours being cut and people getting laid off. This has been going on for several weeks actually but it wasn’t until a memo adressing the ‘rumors’ confirmed everything. I guess its harder for the employees here who have been working for the firm for many years. They have personally experienced the firm’s golden age. They have grown accustomed to a certain way of life at the office and refuse to accept the inevitable. I cannot fault them. Nevertheless I am in an awful position.
You see I began this job 8 months ago as an eager (and desperate) job seeker that wanted to get her foot in the legal world. Luckily I was given that chance. I worked hard to prove that the firm’s partners did not make a poor decision in my hiring.
Well my hard work did not go unrewarded. As people in my office are getting laid off , I just received notice on Friday that I was going to be getting a raise. Normally I would be ecstatic, feeling a sense of accomplishment. Instead I feel dread, as if I was guilty of some horrible treachery against my coworkers with tenure.
Now it isn’t a substantial raise..but considering the circumstances its excellent. However any chance at celebration is quickly quieted by the large storm cloud hanging over the office.I stay quiet and keep to myself, feeling that any thing I do will “give me” away to my coworkers. What a horrible feeling. I don’t want to say I deserved the raise because of the amount of work I do in comparison to my colleagues but then why me?
Nevertheless I am just gonna use my extra $67 a paycheck to pay off some of my massive debt. I need to finish school too as this current situation proves that even the more seemingly successful jobs are not safe from this economy.

All in a days work right?

My job is full of Epic Win. Okay so the firm has an answering service during non buisness hours. This is in the event that there were heavy injury cases we need to respond asap or criminal arrests. These messages are then printed out the next day.
Here is where this Gem appeared:

So next time you guys want to “think outside the bun” maybe the bun is not so bad?
More importantly though..how the hell did she know it was feces? Actually… no I don’t want to know. So all in all yes when you ask “come on people don’t really come up with this shit do they? They really really do.
Unfortunately, I do not handle service calls in the week so I did not have the pleasure of calling this woman back and telling her to come to our offices for a consultation.

Okay, I do hate Bill O’ Reilly.

I'm not the only one.

     Now usually I keep my political views to myself unless there is an appropiate forum to express them. As a result I’m very tolerant of opposing beliefs. However I doubt there is one person out there who cannot agree that fox news is one of the most biased channels out there. Reilly, tends to be the most obnoxious of the anchors though.
2 nights ago while visiting Blue Eyes (the boyfriend), His father happened to be watching Fox. So there I was being ‘blessed’ with O’ Reilly’s image plastered on the screen.
Last night’s nonsense? He had a young ex financial assistant who had relocated from Nebraska to NYC..you know to take a ‘bite’ out of our so ever fruitful big apple. Anyhow the segment’s focus was how this ‘professional’ young woman had to resort to stripping.
First off as an aside to the woman he was interviewing, (I forgot her name damnit) I really admire you for the way you were blunt with ‘Mr. homely’.
So typical O’ Reilly begins to paint this portrait of a young successful woman who becomes a ‘victim’ of the current economic crisis . There is the first issue. As the woman would go on to explain she was a mere assistant making an average 30k/yr salary which destroyed O’Reilly’s assumption that this was some young wealthy white-collared worker.(fuck, I know construction workers who make more than I do)
The other thing was that O’reilly could no wrap his head around the fact that this woman simply changed careers for financial issues. He was so hung up on the stereotype of strippers. He just didn’t get it. Every sentence thereafter included a “well what about your parents..well what abou ex-coworkers.. what about friends?” Again, kudos to that woman she handled herself well. I personally would’ve shoved my stilleto up his ass.
There was one thing though (and I can’t believe I’m admitting to this) that I did agree with Mr. baby boomer about. Which was the fact that many women tend to use the “I had no choice” excuse when it comes to working not so ‘appropiate’ jobs. It is always a choice.
I mean what is the problem with being honest? I know I would. Yes I took a job as a stripper..Why? becuase I get paid more and I would’nt have to smell like fastfood. Its simple really. Ultimately people choose paths. How they handle the consequences thereafter is what sets them apart. Unfortunately this world is so quick to judge. Screw you Bill.

Just another day at the office.

God, I love my job sometimes:

who needs their pinky anyway?

Yeah essentially the guy’s finger exploded when it got slammed between 2 propane tanks. Suprisingly.. no bone broken. Anyway I’ve come to realize that things like that don’t “gross” me out. Well maybe most. I did see a woman who developed MRSA after having a tummy tuck. Let me tell you after seeing that disaster, I would never consider going under the knife. Her stomach looked like a christmas tree between the red flesh and the oozing green pus.
Today I got to see another good one too. No cell phone shot for you guys though. Some guy back in february fell asleep at the wheel & slammed into a telephone pole as a result. One of our investigators went to see the man in the hospital. The guy had two sets 5 inch tire track like staples across the top of his head. This was then offset by two tubes attached into his actual brain, draining blood. It’s crazy what modern science does in an attempt to save life no?

It can’t rain all the time..right?

In the office this early saturday morning. Atleast it’s not a total waste as its raining outside. You know what though, I don’t even let it get to me. For some reason this type of weather always puts me in a reflective mood. I can’t prevent it. Just as each rain drop falls, memories trickle their way to the front of my mind.
The thing is I was so different just a little under a year ago. I was depressed & miserable. I worked a job I hated (but in the end made me appreciate my education that much more) and I was at my witts end with my parents & boyfriend.
Here I am only a year later with a job that ‘feels right’ , a loving boyfriend who I’m absolutely smitten with, and a new car. Its nice not bitching about anything for a change. I did it for so long I think I forgot what it is like to just be happy.

Off to an 1hr treat @ a spa. I’m nervous though, because I never been to one before. I also feel like an eltist bitch for blogging about it but I’m looking foward to it. I mean who doesn’t love back massages?

I have a bone to pick with gaming nerds.

 So here we are yet again for another entry..there may be some consistency!!
Today’s main rant is about:

    You know them. Hell you could be one of them. If thats the case prepare yourself for an almighty bitchfest. Why? Well the answer is simple: I’m a female gamer. It goes beyond that though: I’m a normal female gamer. Oh yes, when I said angry gamer I didn’t specify gender. That is because females are hypocrites & can sometimes be the worst of offenders.
      Let my give you the run of the mill. I have been a semi-active World of Warcraft player since 2006. This will probably ruin my “gaming sreet cred” already as WoW is considered by ‘true’ gamers the mass consumption garbage of mmos. I don’t care. I enjoy WoW as a past time. I don’t make it a point to advertise I’m a female gamer..why should I? I play female toons but so do G.I.R.L.S (Guys In Real Life.)
     Initially I was the stereotypical girl gamer that joined WoW so that I could play with my ex (then boyfriend). I toyed around with a few classes until I finally stuck with an Undead warrior. I assumed a role of tank which was probably a rarity. A “tank” can easily be argued as the most important role in 5-man or raid because usually they are the ones who mark, initiate battle and prevent the AI monsters from attacking the rest of the group.
Playing such a position it was very hard not to reveal my identity as female. However, there were almost always the same two outcomes once I was exposed.
Didn’t matter we were halfway through the instance, no wipes, etc once I was deemed “female” I suddenly would have other guildies or random players I grouped with feel the need to ‘take over’ or ‘help’ me with my assumed role. It is the 21st century.. I don’t need chilvary, especially when its no different than putting bumpers up on a bowling lane.
The other reaction was that I was on WoW for attention. You know…intentionally making ‘innocent virginal’ male WoW players think they have a virtual chance with me just so I can get epics. Please.
What I can’t understand is the gaming community’s reluctance to accept the ‘normal’ player. I know I am one of many but yet ‘hardcore’ gamers mock us say we don’t exist or if we do, we lie about our real lives.
Is it hard to believe I am a somewhat attractive career women who actually enjoys playing, and is a pretty good player too? I know other female gamers can’t accept it. I was reccently in a guild due to the constant begging of an old friend. There was one other female who had the horrible tendency to talk over me in vent whenever I spoke. So I eventually quit.
I actually enjoy my anonymity when I play. That is why all my toons are homeless, no guild no regular questing budies. I’m not a guild home wrecker despite what WoW males say about my gender. I know enough about my class that I could manage & don’t need to be ‘educated’. Its just a game afterall no?
Oh and I wised up. My current boyfriend is not a gamer. It is wonderful. I don’t have to worry about Epeen & virtual jealousy issues. But maybe I will leave that for another entry…

And So it Begins..

Well..hello there?
Hm. Its been awhile since I did the whole “online confession” song & dance. What compelled me to do it again? I guess I want to ‘keep with the times’. Since I don’t have the patience for twitter or Facebook, a place to rant seem more fitting.Anyhow here I am rejoining the fad of blog posting, typing away while at work. I think this blog is destined for major fail however, as I just realized I spelled condemned wrong in my handle. ouch.

The Dreaded 9-5!
I thought I would never become the “9-5″. You know, the middle class worker with the office job Mon-Fri. Although I think I was cheated, because its 9-6pm for me. Not to mention the firm also requires that I work thursday evenings as well as an occasional saturday here & there. (With no additional pay of course). So here I am part of the system: work, pay bills, & occasionally have free time to indulge in order forget how mundane a life existence such as this can be.
I am not complaining though. Considering the current economic situation out there, I am very lucky to have a semi-decent paying proffesional job. Not to mention I see the most gruesome & random things at times, as well as deal with all types of people.
I guess I just have a tendency to get stuck in “cycles” where I have a particular schedule that rarely changes. Even past times have schedules..i.e World of Warcraft on Mon/wed/fri, Boyfriend time on Tues/weekends. Sounds a little silly no?
Overall though I think the 9-5 signifies my acceptance of adulthood & the eventual “this is life” motto. Hopefully though when I become an attorney I can enjoy the “9-5″ a little more.

The Joy of a car
well the day is almost done here @ the office and a break from the “9-5″ awaits me. A new car. Well not brand new but still. After driving a ’91 oldsmobile for 5 yrs I would be happy with even a kia…..maybe not. Anyhow as a godsent my uncle sold me his ’02 Sante Fe for a sweet deal. This is technically my first “car purchase”. I couldn’t be more thrilled much like a kid on christmas.
Its funny the things that can make you so happy when you are older.